"Where you at, dude with all the hats? Dude with the hair cut. Dude with the beard . All you baby sizes. Shag sizes. No, really — Shaq sizes "
"Let me see you fantasy owners, tweeters, blog readers. Gamers. Game-timers. Let me see you floor seats , family seats, your momma's seats , best seats in the house.
"Let's see you legends , coaches, trainers. You too, rookie . Both of you . Pick No. 1. Pick No. 2 . Pick No. 28 . Pick of the Year."
"Ha, that's gonna be fun. Let's see you dancers, ring leaders, real leaders . Guy coming off the bench. Guy leaving the bench behind. Passers. Dunkers. Blockers Buzzer-beaters. Contenders. Championship defenders. It's tip-off time, ya'll.
Everybody up!"